A Book To Be Written

12 Oct

I have been thinking alot about my friend Merinda. If she were to write a book, it would be hilarious. She is offically OUT of the army! Something to be celebrated in length due to the fact that she was held up in Iraq as a stoploss soldier and she gave about six years of her life and several tours of Iraq to the Army. She would have you in stitches using masterful metaphors and sadistic sarcasm; if she were to write a book.

 

See. I am always laughing when she is around!

 

 

Merinda and Moi

 

This gets me thinking. What kind of book would I write, if I were to write a book?

Would it be something that makes you say “Ah! Atlast! An Adventuresome Alliteration!” Or, would it be considered a contemptuous cliche? I know for sure it would be full of didactic dialog which uses decadently delirious descriptions and you, my dear mother (because all these posts are really to my mother), would think that I was such clever heteroclite, you would hop on the plane and come tour the whole of Australia with me on my book signing tour.  Or maybe, you would just hop on the plane and we could go to the beach and I could pretend to have accomplished such a feat.

In short, it would be a book about travel. And this is how it would go:

A Couples Guide To Living Abroad and Not Killing One Another

 

Love. It's everywhere you look for it!

 

 

Table of Contents:

1. Saying Goodbye to All you Know and Eating as Much Mexican Food as you
can before you do.

2. On the Plane and With a Plan

3. Is this my new Country? How to Get out of the Airport and Tell the
Cabby where “Home” is

4.This is not According to Plan
A) Screw the Plan
B)Finding a Home
C) No, you don’t need to get that mattress out of the dumpster

5. Bikes, Buses, Cars and Caravans

6.Ok. I should have eaten more Mexican food, but this thing here on my
plate will do too

7.Benchmarks
A)Why Patting yourself on the Back is Ok Even when You’ve only mastered how to order coffee!

B)Bank Accounts and Paying Tax

8. The Language Barrier. It’s what’s really going to get ya!

9. Telling Him to Chill out when it is ME Having the Break Down

10.Telling Her to take a Chill Pill when It’s ME not being Sensitive Enough

11.Weekends. Why you moved Abroad and How they will make it all ok

12. Making Friends the Hard Way. (because there isn’t an easy way when
you’re all grown up and out of place)

13. Suddenly, It all comes into Focus

14. Skype. Gmail. Facebook. Twitter. Myspace. All the things that keep
you connected and why you shouldn’t devote whole weekends to them
because that’s when the timing works best.

15. Finding Work. Getting Paid. Blowing it on souvenirs.

16. Why money, communication and roadside flowers keep the romance alive.

17. Holidays and Hogwarts. Why living abroad makes us feel magical.

18. There is a Sheep on the Road

19. Soundtrack to Life. Your List of Things to Do before you Leave

20. How to Tackle the “when should we head home” questions.

21. How to Tackle the feeling the home that you live in now, is your home, and it’s lovely.

22. Mexican Food while fighting Feisty

23. Having Guests Come to Visit. Why THIS is your chance to see all, do
all, taste all, and Love all!

Whew! If you’ve made it down this far, THANKS! You are true friends and family. If not, well you don’t know I am writing this about you , but you’ve got a short attention span and I am sorry that the post bored you so much that you moved on! Oh well… there are many things to do in life, maybe you have stopped reading this to start your own book? I guess we will never know!

 

Hello, I will entertain you.

 

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4 Responses to “A Book To Be Written”

  1. Becky Sullivan October 12, 2010 at 3:26 pm #

    I would totally read your book Adrienne – those chapters are hilarious. 😀

  2. adisoz October 12, 2010 at 10:44 pm #

    Thanks friend. You’ve always got my back.

  3. Jill October 13, 2010 at 2:52 am #

    Becky so stole my response! Except for the “Adrienne” part! Is your true name Adrienne, Adi? Ha! I too, would absolutely totally buy and read your book! Are u kidding me??? That’s a no brainer! I really honestly think you should do it!!!!!

  4. Christie Blackwood November 6, 2010 at 10:00 pm #

    I would read your book. I might even read it to my students…editing most of it out of course. 🙂 Love you friend…you are incredibly talented!

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